We don’t need no stinking cable

I can’t cut the cable. I just can’t drop my subscription to cable TV! Why not? Because I’ve never had one. Neither have I ever had satellite TV.

So when I read something about cutting the cable (e.g., a recent post at RWW), I like it, but as a defensive measure against my family deciding that we need cable. And actually, adding TV to our Verizon phone/FiOS service wouldn’t be ruinous.

Right now, I expect to be able to get through my life without ever having subscribed to cable TV. We don’t even have a TV. I expect we’ll get one soon, but I don’t think we’ll need cable to get good content for it.

Cable Cut Fever

The race is on for the 2008 Spoilsport of the Year award. Wired Ryan, in an article about “cable cut fever,” quotes Spoilsport Stefan. “Cable cuts happen on average once every three days… There are 25 large ships that do nothing but fix cable cuts and bends.”

Let’s have a look at these ships, shall we? They include the RenĂ© Descartes, registered in… Kerguelen? No doubt that ship’s motto is “I fix, therefore there’s spam.”

Luckily, Ryan also presents more imaginative accounts of the cable cuts.

Professional terrorist fear monger Annie Jacobsen says Middle Eastern governments are lying about the real reason for the cuts. 9/11 truthers suggested the cuts came in preparation for a U.S. government-faked terrorist attack on the Super Bowl. Bloggers have suggested that the cuts are cover for the NSA installing taps on the lines using the U.S.S. Jimmy Carter.

Sometimes, I’m proud to be a blogger. And let’s salute those who leave comments: there are some great ones following Ryan’s article.